Your People - Corruption/Care Forgot

THE VC
Your people are a bunch of pussies and barely suffered anything.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
What the hell do you know?!?! Just cause no one made a movie about our wars doesn't mean we didn't go through shit.

THE VC
I would disagree.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Fuck off. Your people didn't do squat until the Americans showed up.

THE VC
Oh go fuck yourself. We kicked everyone's ass for quite a few years. Not our fault they kept coming in waves and wanted it so bad. Beat the Japanese, the French, kept the Chinese at bay,

THE KID
Point for her.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Drink more. Speak less.

THE KID
Will do.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Really, my people have been ignored for centuries. And people only paid attention somewhat when we are under communist rule and then over threw it.

THE VC
And then re-elected the bastard who did the communist ruling. And you only over threw him when everyone else was doing it. Not like you really had a revolution fervor sweep the nation.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Fuck you we fought for years.

THE VC
Bull shit. You 'fought' so you could get a little extra cash. Meanwhile you made sure to keep up some vital coke routes.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Oh yeah, cause the Golden Triangle doesn't run into your country.

THE VC
Doesn't run through the whole country jackass.

THE KID
Ladies, I will have you know, your countries are both piss compared to mine.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Aw Christ, who let him drink the Jameson's again?

THE KID
My country as been under assault from the English-

THE REVOLUTIONARY/THE VC
For over a 1,000 bloody years-

THE KID
Good you know this!

THE VC
I believe we have heard this spiel before.

THE KID (bad Irish accent)
Then you should both quit yer fucking whining. My country has been under assault by the English for 1,000 bloody years.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Aren't you only half Irish?

THE VC
And several generation in? What is that little rant Warren Ellis has about St Patrick's Day: If you were born in America, you’re not Irish, you’re fucking American. Deal with it.

THE KID
Despite what the great old bastard says, you pagan heathens may both shut the fuck up now. They tried to kill us all. But they couldn't do that. They tried to fuck us out of existense. But being English they couldn't do it. Then they tried to starve us to death. Still couldn't get rid of us.

THE VC
This wasn't that interesting the first time.

THE KID
They took away our language and our land. And does anyone care? NO! The fucking English get everything they want. And we poor Irish die three time over digging your fucking canals.

THE REVOLUTIONARY
Oh Jesus.

THE VC
Like a whiny fucking baby. You have never even been there!

THE KID
You know, this is the problem. We are ignored. We have suffered the most. But because you pathetic people need the English for some reason you ignore us and our suffering.

* * * * *

The actual Warren Ellis St Patrick's Day Rant:

The next person to wish me a happy St Pat’s Day will have their ISP anonymously informed that they download pictures of dogs fucking babies. I’ve slept with Irish girls and gotten drunk in Belfast, which makes me more Irish than 99% of you — and, whoops, here’s the clue train pulling up to the station, and it says I’m not Irish and neither are 99% of you so you can stick St Pat’s Day up your arse.

If you want to celebrate St Pat’s today, eat a raw potato, build a house out of peat and get yourself shot by an Englishman.

And guess what? If you were born in America, you’re not Irish, you’re fucking American. Deal with it.

(Though I still advise American tourists in Europe to tell people they’re Canadian at all times.)

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